Managing language and consent about using the word ‘suicide’

The way a death is reported and the language a school uses to describe it is influenced by various factors.

These include:

• police and legal processes
• the school’s duty of care to students
• the bereaved family’s wishes.

A school’s choice of language can influence whether a suicide is glamorised or stigmatised. It can also affect the grief and help-seeking behaviour of those who are adversely affected.

Research shows that vulnerable young people and school communities are best supported by using clear and accurate information about suicide, mental illness, coping strategies and help-seeking.

While every suicide is unique and should be responded to as such, school staff are encouraged to use safe language, with the family’s permission, such as ‘died by suicide’.
It’s important to use Mindframe guidelines when communicating about suicide, even if this differs from how the family refers to the death as they may say ‘committed suicide’.

This will minimise stigma, glamourisation, myth and rumour. It also promotes support-seeking for those affected or otherwise at risk.

Alternatively, schools may refer to a death as a ‘sudden death’ or ‘unexpected death’ when:

• the cause of death is genuinely not clear
• the school has not been able to contact the family
• the family doesn’t want the death to be referred to as a suicide.

The first step is to determine whether the death can be referred to as a suicide and seek permission from the family to do so. This should be done by the nominated Emergency Response Team (ERT) family liaison.

If the family asks for advice, highlight the importance of being able to talk to young people about suicide and its causes, and how this can keep them safe. Suggest that they consider:

• the damaging impact of misinformation
• what other parents need to know so they can support their child’s grief
• the importance of being able to discuss suicide appropriately.

Ultimately, if the family decides they don’t want the death referred to as a suicide, you’ll need to respect their wishes.

Referring to a death as a suicide without the family’s consent can have an adverse effect on the grief of the bereaved and others affected. It also poses a possible litigation risk for the school.

It’s important to:

• carefully consider confidentiality and who to inform that the death was a suicide. In some cases, you may only decide to inform the school leadership and ERT
• update the school community as more information becomes available, if appropriate to do so. For example, if the family decides to refer to the death as a suicide after initially
  declining permission
• ensure that staff know they can always get advice before proceeding with a course of action. For example, by consulting with their education body or mental health experts
• ensure staff understand the limitations of this complex situation and that they can ask the leadership team or wellbeing staff questions and discuss difficult experiences.

If family permission isn’t granted, school communities may find it difficult to raise the subject of suicide.

However, discussing suicide in general terms is perfectly appropriate and does not breach confidentiality. While schools need to avoid confirming whether a particular student took their own life, they’re free to conduct general conversations about suicide. This is especially important if there’s speculation among young people in the school community. 

After a suicide, the school must communicate information clearly and consistently to support vulnerable young people.

It’s not uncommon for a young person or family to want to know personal information about another person that’s not appropriate to share. The response you give will depend on your
assessment of the situation.

It might be enough to tell them that the person died suddenly or unexpectedly. Or you might say that the family has chosen to keep the details of the young person’s death private and that the school will respect their wishes.

Sometimes a more detailed response may be required, especially if the person is distressed and seeking answers. In these cases, you could talk about suicide in general and move the conversation away from specific details. Instead, focus on how the young person is feeling or coping.

Group conversations when young people are talking about a death as a suicide

You might like to say:

“We’ve heard students wondering about whether [student’s name] took their own life. Their family have chosen to keep how they died private and the school will be respecting their wishes regarding this. We ask you to respect their wishes, too. But given the subject has come up, there is some important information about suicide that we would like to discuss.”

This opens the door to discuss mental health issues, grief reactions and help-seeking. These conversations will help to reduce stigma and encourage young people to seek support for themselves or a peer while respecting the family’s decision.

Individual conversations when a young person or family asks if a student took their own life

You might like to say:

“I understand that you want to make sense of how [student’s name] died, and it’s normal to want to know and understand, but the family have chosen to keep how [he, she or they] died private and the school will be respecting their wishes regarding this. It’s OK to be upset now, and I want to help you as best I can. It would be a good idea to go and see the school counsellor and to get some support from them.”

Wellbeing staff can then support the young person or family’s responses and feelings in a safe and confidential space. Bear in mind that wellbeing staff can discuss the feelings, beliefs and responses without breaching confidentiality.

Beaton, S., Forster, P., Maple, M. (2013). Suicide and language: Why we shouldn’t use the ‘C’ word. InPsych, 35 (1).  

Cox, G., Bailey, E., Jorm, A., Reavley, N., Templer, K., Parker, A., Rickwood, D., Bhar, S., Robinson, J. (2016). Development of suicide postvention guidelines for secondary schools: A Delphi study. BMC Public Health, 16(1): 180.  

Cox, G., Robinson, J., Bailey, E., Jorm, A., Reavley, N., Templer, K., Parker, A., Rickwood, D., & Bhar, S. (2015). Responding to suicide in secondary schools: a Delphi Study. Melbourne: headspace National Youth Mental Health. 

Everymind. (2023). Life in Mind national communications charter language guide – suicide. https://lifeinmind.org.au/the-charter/tools-and-resources